


Remind Me What We Were Before

by RetroactiveCon



Series: Let The Broken Pieces Go [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Cheating, Multi, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:40:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21706114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RetroactiveCon/pseuds/RetroactiveCon
Summary: “I’m sorry,” Leonard manages. “I know it’s not nearly enough…”“No, it’s not!” Barry bursts out. He looks up at the ceiling. Leonard can’t tell whether he’s on the verge of tears or simply too frustrated to look anywhere else. When he speaks, his voice breaks. “You cheated on me?”
Relationships: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Sara Lance/Leonard Snart
Series: Let The Broken Pieces Go [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569847
Comments: 11
Kudos: 115





	Remind Me What We Were Before

**Author's Note:**

> This is for a Tumblr anon who asked: Len betrayed Barry with Sara during his journey with the Legends. Barry and Leonard had been married for a year. One night Mick is drunk he says this phrase "Snart, how was sex with Sara?", Unfortunately Barry was there and he heard everything. They quarrel and divorce. In the end they try to start over and be a couple again ... but Barry will hate Sara Lance forever!
> 
> I don't think I've ever written a cheating fic before, and unless prompted to, I don't think I ever will again. Nonetheless, here's my best attempt. (Title from "Heart-Shaped Wreckage" from SMASH.)

Len hasn’t felt this kind of excitement—this kind of challenge—since first meeting the Flash. He’s intrigued, of course he is, and that’s his downfall. The fact that Sara flirts as readily with him as he does with her only makes matters worse. 

They have one night—one wild, mildly painful, exquisite night that starts with sparring and ends with Leonard pinned down on his bed. When all is done, Sara curls on top of him like a cat and falls asleep. Leonard lets her, mostly because he doesn’t want to be beaten up for waking her. 

He sleeps poorly. Sometime around one in the morning, the full impact of what he’s done hits him and he has to restrain himself from shoving Sara off the bed in disgust. (He’s not upset with her, not truly. He’s disgusted with himself.) 

“Shouldn’t have put a ring on me,” he whispers into the darkness. 

The next day, he freezes Sara out as effectively as he’s ever frozen out anyone who’s gotten too close. Mick notices, because unfortunately Mick notices a lot more than he admits, but the others take it for his customary rudeness. Well, Leonard amends, Rip might know. He’s nosy that way, and Leonard wouldn’t put it past him to have Gideon report on illicit goings-on.

This suspicion is confirmed partway through the day when Rip takes him aside, folds his arms, and demands, “Is this going to be a problem?” 

“No.” Leonard feigns interest in an old map to avoid having to meet Rip’s eyes. “I need to make it clear to Sara that it won’t happen again. Beyond that, no, it won’t impact our working relationship.”

Rip raises an eyebrow. “There aren’t rules against fraternization on my ship. Lord knows it makes everything easier if there are, but that seems hypocritical, given how I fared when faced with such restrictions.”

Leonard glares at him. “I thought you knew everything about everyone you brought on board. I’m _married.”_

Rip’s eyes widen and his mouth drops into a comical ‘o’ of surprise. “Oh,” he murmurs. “No. That’s…not in any records.”

“Well, no, it wasn’t.” At Leonard’s insistence, and somewhat reluctantly, Stein had performed the ceremony. Beyond that, they took no legal steps; Leonard hadn’t wanted to jeopardize his husband’s future. (Being married to a thief tends to close otherwise promising doors.) 

“Gideon,” Rip appeals to the computer, “did you know about this?” 

Leonard has never heard Gideon sound so disapproving. “I did,” she replies, “given that he married my creator, Barry Allen.” 

Rip gapes at him in a mix of shock and horror. Leonard has never felt smaller or more repulsive. He does what he always does in such situations: he lashes out. “That’s right. I just cheated on the Flash. What kind of monster does that make me?” 

“Human,” Rip says simply. 

Leonard leaves without a backwards glance. He lied to Rip. He’s not repulsive for cheating on the Flash, although by most people’s standards that of itself is an unforgivable crime; he’s the lowest kind of scum for cheating on _Barry,_ the relentless optimist who forced him to be a better person and who, should he ever find out, will probably try to convince him that they can recover from this, too. He vows then that the kid can never know. He can’t face his earnest attempts to make it right.

***

After defeating Vandal Savage and the Time Masters with some help from an ex-Time Master and his daughter, the Legends return to their own time victorious. The others celebrate. Alone of them, Leonard dreads the return. What exactly is he going to tell Barry?

As soon as the Wave Rider touches down, the others bolt for the door. Leonard lingers, trying to find the courage to face the excited speedster he knows will be waiting for him. Then a cool voice speaks from behind him. 

“Mr. Snart, I do not usually stoop to threats, but if you hurt my creator and you ever step foot onto my ship again, I will make your life hell.” 

Threats from a computer program. This is what Leonard’s life has come to. “Duly noted, Gideon.” 

By the time he leaves the Wave Rider, their welcome party has turned into a real party. He spots Sara reuniting with her sister and Oliver, Stein embracing Clarissa, Jax and Ronnie clasping hands, and Cisco batting Mick away from a vial of disturbingly crimson liquid. His observations are cut short by a familiar blur of scarlet that speeds into his arms. “Len!” 

“Barry.” Leonard feels so thoroughly disgusting that he can barely bring himself to hug his husband. Barry notices, of course, but he takes it the wrong way. 

“You’re tired, of course you are, you’ve been jumping all through time and Sara said you almost got blown up and do you want me to run you home? Or do you wanna stay? Do you want cuddles or should I back off?” 

They should go home. The longer they’re around the rest of the Legends, the greater the probability someone will let something slip. Leonard is about to say so when Cisco calls, “Barry, bring your…Snart…and get down here!” 

Against his will, Leonard finds himself coaxed down the walkway and led into the middle of the party. Barry cuddles him insistently, although Leonard doubts he’s aware of it; he’s simply too tactile not to. He forces himself not to pull away. Barry wants to be touched, to be held close, to be loved. After what Leonard has done, fulfilling these wishes seems like the least he can do. 

They’re in the middle of a fascinating exchange with Thea when Mick wanders over, reeking of alcohol. “Hey Snart,” he rumbles. “Just overheard Sara and her sister. When were you gonna tell me you slept with her?”

The room goes still and breathless. Barry turns to him, a question in his eyes, desperate to be told that Mick is confused. Leonard can’t give him that. 

“No,” Barry says when the silence has stretched too long. “No, no, no, no, no, Len, say something, say he misheard…”

Every guilt-induced nightmare Leonard has had to this point pales in comparison to the look of abject horror on Barry’s face. He closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to watch the impact of his words. “He didn’t, Barry. I slept with Sara during the mission.” 

Barry makes a wounded sound as though Leonard has struck him. When Leonard glances at him, he’s leaning against Thea for support. She’s glaring daggers at him, and he braces himself for a well-deserved reprimand when unexpected trumpets sound from their right. 

“Ah!” Cisco jumps, scrabbles at his pocket, and mutes his phone. Every eye turns to him. He stares at the ground, gives a sheepish mutter of “I have to…I’m just gonna…go, now,” and skulks away. As he passes Leonard, he mutters, “By the way, I’m going to kill you.”

Leonard nods in curt acknowledgment of the threat but doesn’t turn his attention from Barry. “There’s nothing I can say,” he murmurs. 

Barry draws in a shaky breath. “We’re not doing this here.”

That’s Leonard’s only warning before he finds himself at home. The world spins around him and he lurches violently to the left. Before, Barry has always steadied him with a hand on his arm or his waist. This time, he watches impassively as Leonard leans against the counter for balance. 

“I’m sorry,” Leonard manages. “I know it’s not nearly enough…”

“No, it’s not!” Barry bursts out. He looks up at the ceiling. Leonard can’t tell whether he’s on the verge of tears or simply too frustrated to look anywhere else. When he speaks, his voice breaks. “You cheated on me?”

Leonard feels obligated to say, “Don’t blame Sara. It was my fault.”

“I know that!” Barry’s voice hitches on a sob. Before Leonard can apologize again (and oh, God, how he wants to), he clears his throat and tries again. “I don’t blame Sara, she didn’t know, it’s on you for saying yes—oh no, no, wait, you said yes, didn’t you?”

Leonard scoffs. Even now, faced with indisputable evidence of how self-centered and cold he is, Barry can’t help trying to give him an out. “She didn’t force me, Scarlet. I said yes and I kept saying yes.” Admitting as much aloud is rubbing salt into both of their wounds. Leonard nonetheless feels he owes it to Barry to lay the whole sordid affair bare. 

“Why?” Barry bursts out. He drops his gaze from the ceiling to Leonard’s face, and Leonard sees tears shining on his lashes. “Are you that desperate that you couldn’t wait for me? Am I not enough? What did I do wrong that made you not want to wait for me?” 

Leonard’s heart shatters. No, Barry can’t think this is his fault. “It wasn’t you. I’m selfish and shortsighted and Sara was there, and I didn’t think about how it would hurt you until it was done.” His instinct is to push until Barry snaps, because he can handle anger and it’ll be better for the kid to realize that there’s nothing to fix. He’s just not strong enough to be cruel when faced with Barry’s heartbroken pleading. “I don’t have a defense. What I did was cruel and it hurt you and it hurt her, and all I can say is that I’ve hated myself so fucking much since it happened.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” Barry says in a broken whisper. Leonard reaches out to him out of habit, desperate to hold him. He shies away. “I can’t, I can’t. I need to just…I need to not be here right now.” 

Leonard doesn’t stop him. After what he’s done, how can he?

***

Miraculously, Leonard manages to avoid the STAR Labs crew and the rest of the Legends for a week. On the eighth day, he returns to his house and finds Barry standing uneasily in the kitchen.

“Barry,” he says in surprise. He hadn’t thought, after what he did, that Barry would want anything to do with him. 

“Don’t, don’t talk.” Barry holds up both hands. “I scripted for this all week and I’ve got to say it or I’m gonna lose my nerve. Okay.” He draws a deep breath and relaxes into a not-quite-easy stance. “I’m really, really upset that you slept with Sara knowing that I was here waiting for you. I’m not so upset that I can’t forgive you, but I’m going to need time—and no jokes about time travel from you because that’ll just piss me off more. I wanna move back in and I want things to go back to normal but I don’t…” The determination drains from him. He looks small and weary and hopelessly lost. “I don’t know how to trust you again. That’s something you have to earn back.” 

It’s more than Leonard had hoped for, and more levelheaded than the emotional pleas of “Let me try to fix this” that he’d envisioned on the Wave Rider. The request for boundaries and time is something he can respect. “I won’t push you, Scarlet.” 

Barry squares his shoulders. “I’m going to ask you not to call me that,” he says firmly. “Not until I say you can.”

Leonard nods. He can respect that, too. ‘Scarlet’ is a pet name; it’s more than fair that Barry wouldn’t want a reminder of the easy intimacy between them when he’s so thoroughly destroyed it. “I can do that.” 

Once again, Barry’s determination melts away. Leonard gets a glimpse of deep, aching pain that cuts him like a shard of glass; then the kid tucks it away into a look of weary defeat. “Then, yeah,” he says. “I guess we give this another try.”


End file.
